I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
