Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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