I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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