never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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