he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
