I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
