how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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