you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
