By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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