mondays should just be called national damage control day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
