I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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