AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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