I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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