hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
