he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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