So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
