Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
