that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
