That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
