Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
