I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
