I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
