Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
