He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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