That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
