Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When are your genitals available?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
