Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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