no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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