naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
