he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
