Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
wow bdsm is so cute
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