dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
