One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
