Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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