When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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