I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
