i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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