im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
