ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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