Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
