Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
