At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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