Duck Duck Cougar?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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