therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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