wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
