Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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