Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
