the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
