I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
