We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
