If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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