You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
