the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
