Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
