there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Who died my cat blue again?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
