She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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