I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
